The birth of a son or a daughter usually brings incomparable joy to the parents and family. It also brings new responsibilities. For Jewish parents, the most important responsibility is to bring up their child as a proud member of the Nation of Israel; to achieve this aim, the parents’ commitment to it should start before the child’s birth or at least as soon as the baby is born.
Jewish birth-related rituals and ceremonies offer the new parents the opportunity to express their thanks to the Almighty for the wonderful gift they received as well as express their commitment to bring up their newborn child into a covenant with G-d. A brief explanation of these ceremonies can be found on this page.
The naming of a Jewish child is much more than merely choosing a method of personal identification that sounds pleasant enough. The Talmudic Sages say that person’s name can affect a person’s character and path in life, therefore advising the parents to choose a name that will have a positive effect.
There are many ways to choose a Jewish name. The Torah tells us that Rachel and Leah expressed in their children’s names their relationship with G-d; Reuben means G-d saw me, Shimon – G-d heard me, Yehuda- this time I will thank G-d, Yosef – G-d will give me another child etc. However, the Midrash (an ancient rabbinic interpretation of the scriptures) comments ‘Our ancestors, who could avail themselves of the Holy Spirit, gave names in reference to forthcoming events; but we who cannot avail ourselves of the Holy Spirit give names after our ancestors.
‘Giving names after our ancestors’ (or any relative who has passed away) is still the most common method for choosing a Hebrew name for a child. By naming a child after a member of the family, the parents make a statement not only about what they hope the child will be, but also where the child comes from. This keeps the name and memory alive, and in a metaphysical way forms a bond between the soul of the baby and the deceased relative. This is a great honour to the deceased because its soul can achieve an elevation based on the good deeds of the namesake.
The name of the child doesn’t have to be an exact replica of the name of the member of the family whose memory the parents wish to honour. Dayan Kupperman is called Shalom after his great-grandmother whose name was Shulamit. Young parents called their son Noam – ‘pleasant’ in Hebrew, to honour the memory of the father’s grandmother who was a very pleasant person although the name Noam doesn’t bear any resemblance to the grandmother’s name.
Some parents choose a name based on the Jewish holiday coinciding with the birth. For example, a baby born at Purim-time might be named Esther or Mordechai. A girl born on Shavuot might be named Ruth, after the biblical Ruth whose story is read on Shavuot, and a child born on the 9th of Av, the Jewish day of mourning, might be named Menachem – ‘a comforter’ or Nechamah –‘comfort’.
Similarly, names are sometimes chosen from the Torah portion corresponding to the week of the birth. Many names and events are mentioned in each Torah portion, offering a spiritual connection between the baby and that particular biblical figure.
A well-chosen and a meaningful Hebrew name can serve its bearer for all their life as a beacon pointing in the right direction or as a reminder of the spiritual legacy of their ancestors.
Many ‘English’ names originate from Hebrew; e.g. Miriam, David, Sarah, Daniel, Rachel. If your child has one of these, biblical, names you may consider giving them a Hebrew name similar to their English name. This way, your child’s Hebrew name will be their ‘real’ name. Even if the Hebrew and English names are different, address the child from time to time by their Hebrew name to remind them of their Jewish identity.
Using a person’s Hebrew name offers protection against assimilation; the Midrash says that the Jewish people were redeemed from Egypt partly on the merit of having kept their Jewish names.
The naming of a Jewish child is much more than merely choosing a method of personal identification that sounds pleasant enough. The Talmudic Sages say that person’s name can affect a person’s character and path in life, therefore advising the parents to choose a name that will have a positive effect.
There are many ways to choose a Jewish name. The Torah tells us that Rachel and Leah expressed in their children’s names their relationship with G-d; Reuben means G-d saw me, Shimon – G-d heard me, Yehuda- this time I will thank G-d, Yosef – G-d will give me another child etc. However, the Midrash (an ancient rabbinic interpretation of the scriptures) comments ‘Our ancestors, who could avail themselves of the Holy Spirit, gave names in reference to forthcoming events; but we who cannot avail ourselves of the Holy Spirit give names after our ancestors.
‘Giving names after our ancestors’ (or any relative who has passed away) is still the most common method for choosing a Hebrew name for a child. By naming a child after a member of the family, the parents make a statement not only about what they hope the child will be, but also where the child comes from. This keeps the name and memory alive, and in a metaphysical way forms a bond between the soul of the baby and the deceased relative. This is a great honour to the deceased because its soul can achieve an elevation based on the good deeds of the namesake.
The name of the child doesn’t have to be an exact replica of the name of the member of the family whose memory the parents wish to honour. Rabbi Kupperman is called Shalom after his great-grandmother whose name was Shulamit. Young parents called their son Noam – ‘pleasant’ in Hebrew, to honour the memory of the father’s grandmother who was a very pleasant person although the name Noam doesn’t bear any resemblance to the grandmother’s name.
Some parents choose a name based on the Jewish holiday coinciding with the birth. For example, a baby born at Purim-time might be named Esther or Mordechai. A girl born on Shavuot might be named Ruth, after the biblical Ruth whose story is read on Shavuot, and a child born on the 9th of Av, the Jewish day of mourning, might be named Menachem – ‘a comforter’ or Nechamah –‘comfort’.
Similarly, names are sometimes chosen from the Torah portion corresponding to the week of the birth. Many names and events are mentioned in each Torah portion, offering a spiritual connection between the baby and that particular biblical figure.
A well-chosen and a meaningful Hebrew name can serve its bearer for all their life as a beacon pointing in the right direction or as a reminder of the spiritual legacy of their ancestors.
Many ‘English’ names originate from Hebrew; e.g. Miriam, David, Sarah, Daniel, Rachel. If your child has one of these, biblical, names you may consider giving them a Hebrew name similar to their English name. This way, your child’s Hebrew name will be their ‘real’ name. Even if the Hebrew and English names are different, address the child from time to time by their Hebrew name to remind them of their Jewish identity.
Using a person’s Hebrew name offers protection against assimilation; the Midrash says that the Jewish people were redeemed from Egypt partly on the merit of having kept their Jewish names.
Girls are given their Hebrew name on Shabbat. The girl’s father is honoured with making a blessing on the Torah Scroll; after he finishes reciting the blessing, the Rabbi or the Chazzan says a special prayer for the girl and her mother and within the prayer, he announces the Hebrew name that the parents have chosen.
You don’t want to leave your daughter without a Hebrew name for too long; the name should be given on the earliest Shabbat that the father can come to the synagogue. An exception can be made if the family expects someone important like, for example, grandparents to arrive from abroad, in which case it is appropriate to wait until then.
To express their joy and gratitude, it is appropriate for the parents to make a special Kiddush in honour of the birth of their daughter.
Sometimes, the parents fail to give their daughter a Hebrew name, for one or another reason. In this case, they can come to Etz Chaim on the First Day of Shavuot; on this day the service includes a name-giving ceremony for those girls who have not as yet received their Hebrew names.
The boys get their Hebrew name at the time of their Brit Milah – The Covenant of Circumcision.
Brit Milah is much more than just the physical act of circumcision; it is a symbol of the covenant that G-d made with Abraham and all his descendants. The terms of this covenant are described in Genesis 17; 10–14:
G-d said to Abraham…This is My covenant between Me, and between you and your offspring that you must keep; you must circumcise every male. This shall be the mark of the covenant between Me and you. Throughout all generations, every male shall be circumcised when he is eight days old.
Through Brit Milah, a Jewish boy bears the seal of approval on his body, of his acceptance into the covenant with G-d. It represents a physical commitment to G-d and to obeying His laws.
Because of the sacred nature of Brit Milah, it can be performed only by a person who himself is part of Abraham’s Covenant; in other words – a Jew fully committed to the Law of the Torah. Circumcision performed by a non-Jewish or Jewish non-observant surgeon is invalid, even if it was performed exactly in the same manner as the religious circumcision. In reality, however, medical circumcision even technically, is dissimilar to religious circumcision.
All the Mohelim – professional performers of circumcision in the UK are regulated by a professional organisation named The Initiation Society. Founded in 1745, The Initiation Society is the oldest Anglo-Jewish organisation. It supervises the medical and religious standards of the training and the work of the registered Mohelim, as well as their indemnity insurance either with the Initiation Society or with an independent medical organisation. Etz Chaim Rabbis, as well as medical practitioners who are members of Etz Chaim, highly recommend not taking any risks and therefore choose only a Mohel registered with The Initiation Society; the full list is available here.
Make sure to contact the Mohel as early as possible, to allow him enough time to provide you with all the information you need to understand and prepare for the procedure as well as to check the baby before the Brit Milah (either by himself or by speaking to your paediatrician) in order to establish that the circumcision can be safely performed on time – on the 8th day after the birth. The most usual condition because of which the Brit Milah can be delayed is Newborn jaundice; in most babies, jaundice is a harmless physiological process, but as at high levels it needs treatment and the Brit Milah is delayed. If from a medical perspective the baby can safely be circumcised on the 8th day, the Brit Milah should not be delayed. The Mitzvah of performing the Brit Milah on the 8th day is so important that we do it even on Shabbat although it involves activities which are normally forbidden on Shabbat; any concerns such as inconvenience or relatives who will miss the celebration shouldn’t prevent the Brit Milah taking place on the 8th day.
After the Brit Milah, the Mohel will provide you with all the necessary information about the aftercare.
Brit Milah is followed by a celebratory meal. The Birkat Hamazon, – the Grace after the Meal, includes a number of additional lines, in which the participants pray to G-d to bless the parents of the baby, the baby and the Mohel for unhesitatingly performing the Mitzvah.
The boys get their Hebrew name at the time of their Brit Milah – The Covenant of Circumcision.
Brit Milah is much more than just the physical act of circumcision; it is a symbol of the covenant that G-d made with Abraham and all his descendants. The terms of this covenant are described in Genesis 17; 10–14:
G-d said to Abraham…This is My covenant between Me, and between you and your offspring that you must keep; you must circumcise every male. This shall be the mark of the covenant between Me and you. Throughout all generations, every male shall be circumcised when he is eight days old.
Through Brit Milah, a Jewish boy bears the seal of approval on his body, of his acceptance into the covenant with G-d. It represents a physical commitment to G-d and to obeying His laws.
Because of the sacred nature of Brit Milah, it can be performed only by a person who himself is part of Abraham’s Covenant; in other words – a Jew fully committed to the Law of the Torah. Circumcision performed by a non-Jewish or Jewish non-observant surgeon is invalid, even if it was performed exactly in the same manner as the religious circumcision. In reality, however, medical circumcision even technically, is dissimilar to religious circumcision.
All the Mohelim – professional performers of circumcision in the UK are regulated by a professional organisation named The Initiation Society. Founded in 1745, The Initiation Society is the oldest Anglo-Jewish organisation. It supervises the medical and religious standards of the training and the work of the registered Mohelim, as well as their indemnity insurance either with the Initiation Society or with an independent medical organisation. Etz Chaim Rabbis, as well as medical practitioners who are members of Etz Chaim, highly recommend not taking any risks and therefore choose only a Mohel registered with The Initiation Society; the full list is available here.
Make sure to contact the Mohel as early as possible, to allow him enough time to provide you with all the information you need to understand and prepare for the procedure as well as to check the baby before the Brit Milah (either by himself or by speaking to your paediatrician) in order to establish that the circumcision can be safely performed on time – on the 8th day after the birth. The most usual condition because of which the Brit Milah can be delayed is Newborn jaundice; in most babies, jaundice is a harmless physiological process, but as at high levels it needs treatment and the Brit Milah is delayed. If from a medical perspective the baby can safely be circumcised on the 8th day, the Brit Milah should not be delayed. The Mitzvah of performing the Brit Milah on the 8th day is so important that we do it even on Shabbat although it involves activities which are normally forbidden on Shabbat; any concerns such as inconvenience or relatives who will miss the celebration shouldn’t prevent the Brit Milah taking place on the 8th day.
After the Brit Milah, the Mohel will provide you with all the necessary information about the aftercare.
Brit Milah is followed by a celebratory meal. The Birkat Hamazon, – the Grace after the Meal, includes a number of additional lines, in which the participants pray to G-d to bless the parents of the baby, the baby and the Mohel for unhesitatingly performing the Mitzvah.
It is not customary for the parents to celebrate the birth of a boy with a special Kiddush, as they would do if it was a girl. Instead, the boy’s birth is customarily celebrated at a gathering called Shalom Zachar– ‘welcoming the male’. Shalom Zachar is a time-honoured custom, mentioned in the Code of the Jewish Law – the Shulchan Aruch. This is an informal celebration, which takes place in the baby’s parent’s house on the first Friday night after a baby boy is born. Typically, family friends drop by to convey their congratulations, help themselves to some light refreshments (which typically, but not necessarily, include cookies, chickpeas, sweets, fruits and nuts, soft drinks, and a drink over which they can wish ‘L’chaim’). The guests keep rotating and tend not to stay for long.
If the baby boy is a firstborn, his birth is marked by an additional ritual called Pidyon Haben – ‘Redemption’ of the First-born. The reason that the firstborns have to be ‘redeemed’ is because all the Israelite firstborns were supposed to become subject to the duty of priestly service. After the sin of the golden calf, the priesthood was transferred to the tribe of Levi; descendants of Aaron becoming the Kohanim –Priests, and the rest of Levites becoming their assistants in divine service. This transfer of duty caused a situation whereby the Israelite firstborns are ‘dodging’ their potential duty. Therefore they have to be ‘redeemed’ or, more precisely, released from their duty by a Kohen; the Kohen’s fee for the release of the firstborn, as determined by the Torah, is five silver coins.
A firstborn boy born by caesarean section or preceded by a miscarriage is exempted from the ‘redemption’. Also if the boy’s father or maternal grandfather is a Kohen or a Levi, the firstborn is exempted from the ‘redemption’. In all these cases the ceremony does not take place. Because of all the exemptions, Pidyon Haben is a relatively rare ceremony.
Pidyon Haben is performed on the 31st day after the birth; if the 31st day falls on Shabbat or Festival, the ceremony is postponed to the next day.
When it comes to arranging the Pidyon Haben, the parents should find a Kohen with a very strong tradition in the family, and a Kohen that is experience in performing this Mitzvah. A few days before the ceremony, the Kohen will explain all the practicalities involved in the fulfilment of this Mitzvah and usually will be able to supply, for an agreed reimbursement, the five silver coins, which will be paid to him during the ceremony as his fee for the ‘redemption’ of their son. As is usual in Jewish tradition, the Mitzvah of Pidyon Haben is celebrated with a festive meal; in contrast to Brit Milah, the custom in the Ashkenazi communities is to start the ceremony with the meal and to perform the Pidyon Haben after everyone is seated.
If the baby boy is a firstborn, his birth is marked by an additional ritual called Pidyon Haben – ‘Redemption’ of the First-born. The reason that the firstborns have to be ‘redeemed’ is because all the Israelite firstborns were supposed to become subject to the duty of priestly service. After the sin of the golden calf, the priesthood was transferred to the tribe of Levi; descendants of Aaron becoming the Kohanim –Priests, and the rest of Levites becoming their assistants in divine service. This transfer of duty caused a situation whereby the Israelite firstborns are ‘dodging’ their potential duty. Therefore they have to be ‘redeemed’ or, more precisely, released from their duty by a Kohen; the Kohen’s fee for the release of the firstborn, as determined by the Torah, is five silver coins.
A firstborn boy born by caesarean section or preceded by a miscarriage is exempted from the ‘redemption’. Also if the boy’s father or maternal grandfather is a Kohen or a Levi, the firstborn is exempted from the ‘redemption’. In all these cases the ceremony does not take place. Because of all the exemptions, Pidyon Haben is a relatively rare ceremony.
Pidyon Haben is performed on the 31st day after the birth; if the 31st day falls on Shabbat or Festival, the ceremony is postponed to the next day.
When it comes to arranging the Pidyon Haben, the parents should find a Kohen with a very strong tradition in the family, and a Kohen that is experience in performing this Mitzvah. A few days before the ceremony, the Kohen will explain all the practicalities involved in the fulfilment of this Mitzvah and usually will be able to supply, for an agreed reimbursement, the five silver coins, which will be paid to him during the ceremony as his fee for the ‘redemption’ of their son. As is usual in Jewish tradition, the Mitzvah of Pidyon Haben is celebrated with a festive meal; in contrast to Brit Milah, the custom in the Ashkenazi communities is to start the ceremony with the meal and to perform the Pidyon Haben after everyone is seated.
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