A Bar Mitzvah is the ceremony which takes place when a Jewish boy reaches the age of 13, and from then on, he has an obligation of all the commandments written in the Torah.
A Bar Mitzvah is not just a celebration but, rather, a life-changing experience.
For many Jewish people, their Bar Mitzvah was the defining moment in their life, a moment that became the foundation of their growing commitment to find meaning in being a Jew. Even more than the celebration itself, it is the educational process leading to the Bar Mitzvah celebration that can serve as a springboard for deeper engagement with Judaism and spiritual growth.
The success of a Bar Mitzvah is not how nice the party was, nor even how well the Bar Mitzvah boy reads his piece. The success of a Bar Mitzvah is measured by the long-term effect that the experience will have on the Bar Mitzvah boy’s identity and life as a Jew.
In order to achieve these goals, we expect every boy who is planning to have his Bar Mitzvah in Etz Chaim to began participating from age 11 in Etz Chaim’s pre-Bar Mitzvah programme. This programme is designed to help the participants to broaden and deepen their knowledge of Judaism and familiarise them with the service as it is conducted in the synagogue.
During the two years preceding their Bar Mitzvah, the boys meet with Dayan Kupperman and Rabbi Gilbert and participate in some of our daily and Shabbat services. They periodically come with their parents to Sunday morning services followed by breakfast and a discussion with Rabbi Gilbert and the practice of prayers. Similar meetings take place periodically at and after the afternoon services. The goal is to help the boys to become more comfortable in the Shul surroundings and develop a good rapport with our Clergy.
We also expect the pre-Bar Mitzvah boy and his family, parents and siblings, to attend Shabbat morning services for the year prior to his Bar Mitzvah. Regular attendance will provide a great lead-up to the Bar Mitzvah as the boy and his family will meet our Clergy regularly, get to know the Wardens, the format of the Shabbat service etc. We guarantee that all of this will reduce stress and anxiety and help to make the Bar Mitzvah a wonderful experience. For the last couple of months before the Bar Mitzvah, the boy will be invited to stand on the Bimah during the Torah reading, which will boost his confidence at the time when he will read from the Torah scroll
Finally, as the time draws closer to the Bar Mitzvah, Dayan Kupperman and/or Rabbi Gilbert will meet the boy to make sure that he has reached a satisfactory level in his preparations, particularly his proficiency in putting Tefillin and in the Torah reading.
Fulfilling the Mitzvah of Tefillin is the most important experience associated with becoming Bar Mitzvah. The one-off lesson with the Bar Mitzvah teacher will neither instil in the mind of the Bar Mitzvah boy the importance of this practice nor will it provide him with sufficient experience to do it properly. A Bar Mitzvah boy should be wearing Tefillin daily for a few weeks before his Bar Mitzvah in order to perform this very important mitzvah correctly, confidently and regularly after his Bar Mitzvah. To ensure that donning of Tefillin will become a lifelong habit, fulfilled properly and enthusiastically, it is essential that the Bar Mitzvah boy’s father takes an active part in his son’s Tefillin practice. Even if the father was not very diligent in his own Tefillin practice, a Bar Mitzvah is the perfect time to tell your son that although there are a number of Jewish observances which, for various reasons, some people including yourself have allowed to lapse, nevertheless if he is interested to deepen his engagement with Judaism, you will give him every encouragement and support. If the father wants to refresh his Tefillin practice, our Clergy will be happy to assist him. A video demonstrating how to don Tefillin is available on this link.
A pair of Tefillin is among the most meaningful, beautiful, and potentially longest-lasting of Jewish ritual investments that a person will ever make. Their appearance doesn’t reveal the complexity and sophistication involved in their making. The manufacturing processes of Tefillin are intricate and governed by hundreds of detailed rules. Not even a rabbi, but only an expert that specialises in Tefillin, can tell the difference between kosher and non-kosher Tefillin. They can be purchased only from a very reliable seller; the chances that Tefillin bought at a bargain will be kosher are equal to the chances that a £50 Rolex will be genuine. In Etz Chaim’s book-shop, where you will be assisted in choosing Tefillin of guaranteed quality and suited to your budget, you will also receive, free of charge, the book Tefillin by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan which is one of the best books on the subject as it contains in clear and concise language the explanation of the symbolical meaning of Tefillin and an illustrated step by step guide how to don Tefillin correctly.
Unless the actual Bar Mitzvah date – the 13th birthday according to the Jewish calendar, falls on Friday or Shabbat, almost all Leeds Bar Mitzvah boys have their first call up to the Torah on Monday or Thursday – the days when the Torah is read in public. Because on Shabbat we don’t put on Tefillin, the call up to the Torah on Monday or Thursday provides the Bar Mitzvah boy with the opportunity to be called up to the Torah with the Tefillin on his head and arm. Although it is a relatively low-key event attended mostly by the immediate family, it is a very spiritual and meaningful experience.
Prior to the Shabbat of the Bar Mitzvah celebration, the Wardens will discuss with you the honours that you wish to offer to your family and friends during the prayers and the Torah reading. Within possible limits (such as the need to offer honours to other members if, for instance, they have a Yahrzeit on that Shabbat), the Wardens will do everything to ensure that every member of your family or a friend who is eligible for receiving honours will receive it on this special occasion.
The Reception rooms and the splendid Reuben Vincent Hall at the Etz Chaim Synagogue will facilitate the celebration of your Simcha in perfect surroundings. Our office team will be happy to assist you in choosing the appropriate space for your celebration, to suit every taste and every pocket. Please be aware that no Synagogue in Leeds allows a Bar Mitzvah to take place if the later celebrations are catered by a caterer who is not licensed by a respected Kashrus Authority. The Reception rooms and the Reuben Vincent Hall are under the permanent supervision of the Leeds Kashrus Authority, which makes them an ideal choice in this respect.
Rabbi Shalom Kupperman and Rabbi Anthony Gilbert will be happy to assist you with any enquiry.
Etz Chaim is a vibrant and dynamic Synagogue located in the heart of the Jewish area in the north of Leeds.
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